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Bliss

Today’s episode of “Radiolab” on National Public Radio, replayed from December of last year, related to happiness and its definition. The show explored the idea of bliss, including a fascinating story about a man named Bliss. Here’s the show, well worth listening to. While I listened, I contemplated my own moments of bliss.

In June of 1982, I gave birth to Doug, our first child. I had a pretty easy labor and delivery, but suffered some nasty moments immediately after. I needed quite a bit of stitching, and unfortunately the novocaine didn’t take. Ouch. Because I needed some time to heal, I spent an extra day or two in the hospital. Back then, our Canton hospital was still a little resistant to “rooming in,” the reasonable and humane policy allowing mom and baby to sleep in the same room. For the first night or two, the hospital decreed that Doug spend the night in the nursery. Ironicallly, this separation created a favorite, fond memory that drifted into my mind as I listened to the radio today.

Night would fall, they’d remove Doug to the nursery, time would pass, and I would at last barely drift off to sleep. Then someone would rustle the curtain surrounding my bed, and a nurse’s soft voice would gently awaken me. For a second, I’d inwardly groan about my interrupted sleep. Then, as my eyes opened and I sat up, I’d gradually realize that I was receiving a great gift. The baby was here! I would have precious minutes alone with that warm, soft little package. Usually, he’d be too sleepy to nurse, but I’d be wide awake and completely focused. For those few minutes, blissful.

When Margaret was born a few years later, the powers-that-be hustled us home, out of the hospital, the day after her birth. I had similar blissful moments, though, as the first weeks and months passed. Like most babies, Margaret had a fussy period in the long evenings before bedtime. I paced in a circle around our living room with her–that warm tiny-baby package again–resting on my shoulder, tucked into my neck. My lullaby of choice was often James Taylor’s “Only a Dream in Rio,” from the album “That’s Why I’m Here.” Oddly enough, these difficult nights when it was hard to get her to sleep provided some of my sweetest mom memories.

One more memory popped into my head, this one from much further back. My dad was a paraplegic, and I always hoped he’d regain the use of his legs, even though I understood, intellectually, that this was impossible. Blowing out my birthday candles or throwing a penny in a fountain, I always wished that Dad would walk again. Then, when I was in 10th grade, my dad spent almost a year in a New York hospital having surgery for bedsores. During this time, I entertained the fantasy that his paraplegia would be healed while he was gone. I knew it couldn’t happen, but I prayed for it constantly.

One day when I got home from school, my mom said my dad was coming home, and we could pick him up at the airport. Maybe I actually knew he was coming home–that makes more sense–but in my memory I was surprised by the news. I remember sitting in the car as we pulled out of the driveway, realizing I should be sad. After all, my dad was returning prematurely. He wasn’t healed. He was coming home still in a wheelchair. But I wasn’t sad. I was so happy we were going to see him again. I was so happy he would be back home. I was conscious, sitting in the car, that I felt blissful, and I’ve never forgotten the feeling.

When have you been blissful? Describe the moment.

 

 

4 Comments

  1. I love this post! I would probably have to saw that my kids as newborns were some of the most blissful/miserable times of my life as well. I remember when my first son would fall asleep on our chests as we were rocking…it was so peaceful. Work-related, there have been moments after I’ve had a really fantastic training or graduation ceremony when I felt blissful. On an evening after a day like that I felt like I could reflect in peace because I could recognize I’d made a genuine impact in someone’s life. And in church when we sing the word that is forbidden until tomorrow: “Alle…., salvation and glory, honor and power unto the Lord our God.” And I can see the walls push back and our little parish is surrounded by all the angels and saints singing in harmony, and I am experiencing eternity for a moment in time. Ritual and bliss are very connected for me.

    Saturday, March 30, 2013 at 10:26 am | Permalink
  2. Kathy wrote:

    Thanks, Meagen! What lovely connections!

    Monday, April 1, 2013 at 12:03 am | Permalink
  3. Sarah Becker wrote:

    I remember the moment when my niece, Irene, at about age 2, voluntarily climbed up on my lap. It was a real moment of connection.
    Also, and let me know if I’m weird or what, in 1990 when Daniel Day-Lewis won the Oscar for My Left Foot, I was in ecstasy! That’s back when he was still handsome, a relative newcomer, and we didn’t know he’d just get better with age.
    And don’t get me started with Johnny Depp!

    Thursday, May 2, 2013 at 7:34 pm | Permalink
  4. Kathy wrote:

    Still handsome, I think, and master of the Oscar acceptance speech!

    Friday, May 3, 2013 at 4:02 pm | Permalink

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